


Battement de Cœur

by unicorndads



Category: Gandrew - Fandom
Genre: Angels, Angst and Feels, Boys In Love, Character Death, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, First Time, Ghosts, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Married Life, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Soulmates, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicorndads/pseuds/unicorndads
Summary: Andrew and Garrett love each other forever.
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Battement de Cœur

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry in advance but also be rest assured that I'm keeping my promise and there is a happy ending. :) I wouldn't have written it otherwise haha
> 
> No disrespect to Garrett or Andrew. I love both of them. They are my dads even if they aren't an irl couple.

_ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum_

Garrett's heartbeat quickened under Andrew's ear as three words escaped his lips in a nearly non-existent whisper: "I love you." 

Frightened of his feelings, Andrew had sought refuge in his best friend, clinging to the man that admittedly caused them in the first place. The urge to explode with the truth and expose himself in such a vulnerable way became too much, so he found his head buried in Garrett's chest, safe from any visible scrutiny. He felt Garrett automatically wrap his arms around him, holding him in his arms, and he nearly cried at the sensation.

When the words came out, he had hoped Garrett didn't hear him - maybe the words would be too muffled by his shirt - but the way his heart began to pound told Andrew that he had. "I love you," he repeated, defeated, because there was nothing else to do.

Garrett's arms slid up his back to grasp his shoulders, gently pulling him back. Andrew peered up at him, the cold air revealing that his cheeks were damp with tears. "I love you." He knew he sounded like a broken record, and he felt as functional as one.

Garrett's hands moved again, this time to take a hold of Andrew's face. He stroked his cheeks, as if to dry them. "Andrew," he whispered, eyes soft.

"I love you and I don't know what to do about it." Andrew hated how broken he sounded.

"Don't be afraid."

A little taken aback, Andrew let out a shaky breath. How did he know? "I'm so scared," he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Andrew, look at me."

He did. He had never seen Garrett look so serious.

"You are not ruining anything by telling me," Garrett told him, stern but caring. "You are not...wrong for loving another man, for loving me."

The words crashed over him and he ached at how harshly they stung. "How-?"

"Because I've had these same thoughts. And I don't want you to have them anymore. You are still the amazing Andrew Siwicki, and my best friend. And you are loved. Because I love you, too. Okay? I love you, too."

"You do?" Andrew whispered. He couldn't wrap his mind around these words. "The same way?"

Garrett's lips curled up. "I promise," he murmured, bringing their faces closer together.

With a small gasp, Andrew closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever would happen next. He felt a light pressure on his forehead and knew it was Garrett's, resting on him. He swallowed and blindly lifted his hands, finding his friend's chest and gripping his shirt.

"I know it's scary, but I want to be with you if you want to be with me." 

Andrew didn't respond right away. He took this time to think, knowing Garrett would give him all the time he needed. He worked on steadying his breath. He focused on the heart threatening to pound out of his chest. He recognized the backflip it did at Garrett's words, the strain of hope now swimming through his veins. He thought about the many fears that had been taking up his entire mind the past few months, preventing him from voicing his feelings earlier. Reminded of them, they were starting to become overwhelming once more.

But then he felt the faint beats coming from Garrett's chest, the slow movements of thumbs stroking his face, the breath lightly fluttering across his face. He took in these sensations, reveled in the feelings, and soon they became overpowering. These fears now seemed almost insignificant, now that he was being held so lovingly. "Yes, I want to be with you," he finally decided, quietly.

Andrew felt Garrett's head shift, and before he knew it, their lips were touching. The feeling of love that rolled all the way down to the tips of his toes made the tears start up again. But this time they were good, for he felt like the happiest man on earth.

_ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum_

The sound of heavy breathing filled the room. Andrew, deciding to finally face one of his remaining fears and give into the lust he felt for Garrett, found himself in a persistent state of ecstasy, the waves of pleasure rolling through his body forcing out a stream of moans and groans. He never knew he could feel so good. He had never experienced such a talented tongue, such rough yet gentle hands, such eager lips. He had never felt so full.

As he writhed on top of Garrett, toes curled and fingernails digging into skin, he felt Garrett's heart slamming against his ribcage like a jackhammer, mirroring the pulse in his own throat. He panted in Garrett's ear, mouth seeking out skin to kiss and lick and nibble, desperately searching for ways to become closer and more connected.

Garrett was gasping out Andrew's name and words of encouragement, hands roaming. He gripped Andrew tightly, with just enough pressure to heighten his sense of pleasure, massaging his arms and legs, his back and lower. He had the perfect sense of rhythm as he thrust up, rocking them flush together until finally they reached that desired high.

With a guttural cry, Andrew dropped onto Garrett, their sweat mixing together. Underneath his ear was the racing heart of his partner, who, much like himself, was struggling to steady his breathing.

Garrett's fingers traced over his back, moving up to tangle themselves in his red hair. "Was that okay?" he gasped out.

Andrew hummed, stroking the chest underneath him reassuringly. "It was perfect," he murmured, turning his head to plant a kiss above his lover's heart.

_ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum_

"Will you marry me?"

It had been a pretty insignificant night up until now, with Andrew curled up against Garrett in bed as they tried to let sleep overcome them. He almost thought it was a figment of his imagination, the beginnings of a dream. But when he lifted his head back to gaze at Garrett, he saw that his eyes were wide open. "What?"

"I, uh...I asked if you'll marry me." 

"Okay, that's what I thought." A silence fell over them as Andrew considered the situation. He felt oddly calm.

Garrett cleared his throat. "It's okay, you don't have to say yes," he murmured. Andrew could hear the regret and tears forming in the back of his throat as he started to turn away.

Andrew grasped his arm to stop him. "No, I-." Andrew paused long enough to lift his hand to Garrett's cheek, attempting to reassure the man. "I want to. I'm just trying to decide if it's a real proposal or, well, something that just slipped out."

Garrett's lips curled up. "I guess it did slip out...but of course it's real. If you want something more extravagant, though, I'll take it back and try again later."

Still a little unsure, or maybe just a little unbelieving, Andrew placed his hand over Garrett's heart - that would tell him. It was beating quickly, nervously. He was afraid Andrew would say no.

Andrew felt himself begin to grin as his own pulse quickened, the gravity of the situation becoming clear. It was the perfect moment. "No. I mean, you don't need to do anything more. Of course I'll marry you."

Garret's face split into the widest grin Andrew had ever seen from him. "You will?" he gasped. "Even though I don't have a ring yet?"

Andrew giggled and brought his face closer to Garrett's. "Yes, I will." He pressed their lips together, sealing the promise with a kiss.

_ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum_

When Andrew was a kid, he would occasionally picture his wedding: standing in front of some faceless woman, professing his love even though he didn't even know what that meant yet. Before he met Garrett, he never imagined he would be standing in front of his friends and family, looking up at the man of his dreams, preparing to dedicate his whole life to him. In fact, he feared the idea. But now that it was happening, he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Andrew, my whole view of love changed when I met you. You were that unattainable straight guy-"

Andrew flushed as the crowd chuckled. Garrett's eyes shone down at him kindly, telling him that he was just teasing.

"-and I was the fool that couldn't stop thinking about you. You made it hard to even consider trying to find someone else to love, so I didn't. I was happy to have you in any way I could; as long as you wanted to be my friend, I was content. The day you told me you loved me, too, I was the happiest I've ever been. And since that moment, happiness is all I've felt. As I stand here today, I know that I will stay happy, for we'll be together until death do us part. Or until you get tired of me."

Again, the crowd chuckled. Andrew's lips twisted up as he shook his head, sharing their amusement. He could never.

"Garrett, I wouldn't be who I am today without you. I let fear rule my life for far too long. You are the first man I've ever loved - the only man I've ever loved. The only _person_ I will ever love, now and forever."

Andrew paused, overwhelmed with emotion. He stared into Garrett's eyes, knowing without a doubt that he was speaking the truth.

"You gave me the confidence to be myself. You gave me the love I never thought I could have. You gave me a reason to stand here now and promise you forever. I love you."

"I love you," Garrett whispered, a tear escaping the corner of his eye. The crowd cooed as Andrew brushed it away.

Garrett reached into his jacket pocket and drew out a golden band. Andrew felt his breath catch in his throat as his soon-to-be husband took his hand and brought it up to his lips. With a gentle kiss, he slid the ring onto his finger.

It fit perfectly; the weight of the ring made Andrew feel whole. With tingling hands, he reached for his own ring to give away. He mimicked Garrett's actions, pressing his lips to Garrett's hand before giving him his own silver band.

The applause was deafening as they kissed for the first time as husband and husband, yet Andrew hardly heard it. He was too focused on the feeling of their lips interlocked, Garrett's hands holding his face, his thumbs stroking his cheeks. Andrew ran his hands over Garrett's chest, feeling the soft fabric of his shirt and the fluttering of his pounding heart underneath. These feelings were the only things that mattered in that moment. The things he would hold on to for the rest of their lives together.

_ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum_

Every day, Andrew woke up in a state of bliss, taking a second (though often longer) to appreciate where he was: wrapped in his husband's arms, the warmth shared between them threatening to lull him back to sleep.

It felt like a dream sometimes, or a crazy idea, the two of them staying together for so long. Despite not wanting to, Andrew almost expected it to end far too soon. He waited for the moment he woke up and didn't want to feel the weight of Garrett's arm over his waist, didn't want to deal with his snoring or morning breath anymore. Everyone fell out of love eventually, right?

But somehow, despite all the odds, he found himself as in love with Garrett as he was when he first told him, when they exchanged rings to symbolize their eternal love. They managed to get through every small argument unscathed, every moment of insecurity feeling better and closer than before. They were simply happy together, and Andrew wished it would never end. 

Months together turned into years, which turned into decades. They reached every milestone together - moving away from the chaos of LA, adopting a beautiful girl, getting her through college, attending weddings and funerals of friends and family, slowly removing themselves from the public eye to focus on the life they made together. Every step of the way, Andrew felt lucky to have Garrett at his side.

Every day, he made sure to tell Garrett how much he loved him, warming at the echoed sentiments coupled with a tender kiss. Every day, he told Garrett how beautiful he was, even as the marks of time began to show on his face and creep along his body. Every day, he chose to focus on the positives, on how blessed he was to be married to his best friend.

And every night, he would crawl into bed and right into Garrett's arms. Every night, he would kiss his husband goodnight and fall asleep to the thrumming of his heartbeat, knowing he would wake up to the beautiful sound the next morning.

_ba-dum ba-dum ba-_

The morning Andrew woke up to silence was the day his world ended.

"No."

He looked over to his husband, seeing his glassy, blue eyes staring straight up. Lifeless.

"No, no, no."

He pounded on his lover's chest, praying it would be enough to wake him up.

"God, no."

When that didn't work, he pushed harder to restart his heart, even though he had only seen it done in movies and had no idea if he held the same power.

"Garrett, please."

But he didn't want to hurt him, so he stopped. He reluctantly knew it was futile; he had to accept that there was nothing he could do. He stroked Garrett's cheeks. They were cold.

"Don't leave me alone, please."

His vision began to blur. He didn't know what else to do, so he let out a wail, falling onto his lover's body. He cried and moaned and begged for something, anything to change. For this to just be a cruel joke, even though he knew Garrett would never take it that far.

When he ran out of tears, he stayed on top of the man he had loved so dearly, whimpering and utterly heartbroken. He stayed there until their daughter found them, worried when they didn't attend the brunch that they had been so excited for the night prior - what their last conversation had been about before Garrett's future plans came to a screeching halt.

Andrew's life was now seemingly on a permanent hold as well. He was barely present while his daughter took on the responsibility of planning the funeral for one of her fathers. He couldn't even find the energy to feel bad about it.

It was an intimate event, which Andrew appreciated. He had avoided the internet like the plague since it happened, refused to turn on the news in case any station cared enough about an influencer from decades ago to discuss his loss. He didn't want to see or hear about it more than necessary, and he didn't want more than necessary to witness just how broken he had become. He only agreed to speak at the funeral in case Garrett was right, that ghosts were real and maybe he would be able to hear his final words.

"Garrett...was a beloved man, known by many. But no one loves him the way I love him. And no one loves me the way he loves...loved me. I am lost without him. Alone."

The crowd waited with bated breath, expecting more from the grieving widower. But there was nothing more he felt like saying, not even to appease the spirit who he logically knew wasn't even there, so with a nod toward the ground, Andrew returned to his seat, numb to the comforting touch of a hand or the murmurs of condolences that showered over him in the minutes and hours and days and weeks that followed.

He refused to get rid of Garrett's things, the books and movies and trinkets and memories. They were never clutter to Garrett, and they would never be clutter to Andrew again.

He slept in Garrett's clothes and hardly removed them, outside of the occasional shower when he could muster enough strength.

He called Garrett every night, just to hear his voice and goofy laugh before crying himself to sleep.

He stared at the photos around their house, on his phone, watched their home videos.

He watched the videos still online, the ones Garrett created, ones they made together, ones Garrett was just featured in. Thank God for the internet, holding onto these snippets of time, even after those on the platform eventually left once they could no longer hide their age.

He even read fanfiction, seriously, for the first time in his life. Thank God for the internet, keeping these archives, even after the fanbase had grown old, too, and moved on.

And every night, he prayed to anyone that would listen, that somehow he would see Garrett again.

...

Andrew woke up one morning and he felt off. More off than just his now regular state of numb heartache. Frowning, he sat up and forced himself out of bed. 

He didn't know what compelled him to look back at the bed, but he did. And he saw his body. And he froze.

"My sweet boy."

Andrew nearly jumped out of his skin, if that's what he could call it, at the voice. The voice he recognized right away. The voice he had missed so dearly.

"What have you done?"

Andrew's eyes widened as the shape of his husband, his soulmate, the love of his life seemed to step out of nowhere. "Garrett," he croaked out. He felt pressure begin to build behind his eyes, but nothing came out. "What's happening? Why are you here?"

"I've come to collect you, my love." Garrett glanced down at Andrew's lifeless body, eyes sad. "I would have loved to see you live a bit longer before this happened."

Andrew shook his head, disbelieving yet cautiously happy. "I didn't want to live without you." He gestured toward his body. "Is that why this happened? If it is, I'm glad."

"I don't know," Garrett answered honestly. 

"But wait, this can't be real, can it? I'm going to wake up and be broken all over again, aren't I?" Andrew whimpered, wishing for the release of his tears, but they refused to come. What a cruel dream this was.

"It's real," Garrett promised, finally closing the difference between them. He cupped Andrew's face in his hands, as he had done many times before.

Andrew shivered at the contact, knowing now that Garrett was right. That he had been right all along. Andrew placed his hands on Garrett's chest, where he often found them gravitating toward when alive. "You're beautiful," he gasped out, eyes raking over the ghost of his husband. He looked exactly like he remembered him, but...not quite. "You're...young."

Amusement shone in Garrett's eyes. "Was I only beautiful when I was young?" he teased lightly.

Andrew's pressed further into him, marveling at how solid he felt. "No, you were always beautiful! I told you every day."

Garrett hummed in agreement, eyes softening. "You did."

"I'm just...surprised," Andrew continued, explaining. "Why do you look young?"

"Apparently, when you die, you go back to when you were happiest in life. For me, it was when you told me you loved me."

"Was it?"

"Mmhmm. Thinking about it, there were a lot of options, being with you most of my life. But the moment I realized you could _actually_ love me, that you _did_ despite the conflict it caused in you...that's when you knew that all the pain I endured before, any pain after, would be worth it. Because I could have you. I _would_ have you."

Andrew felt the pressure building behind his eyes once more, but again, nothing spilled out. "Oh honey..." he whispered, feeling love swell in his chest. He reached up to stroke Garrett's cheek.

"You look young, too," Garrett informed him with a smile, his eyes seemingly misting over as well.

"Do I?" Andrew's gaze flickered over to his hand. The skin was smooth, missing the wrinkles he had grown accustomed to seeing.

"When were you happiest?" Garrett asked softly.

"I don't-" But the moment he thought about it, Andrew realized he did know. "Our wedding," he said confidently. "Standing at the altar with you, looking at you in that moment, I knew that we would be together forever. At least, until death did us part."

"And even after, now," Garrett reminded him kindly.

"And even after," Andrew repeated, voice thick with emotion. He leaned forward, unable to be apart from Garrett any longer, and kissed him. His lips tingled as he took in the feeling he had been missing for so long. 

Garrett broke the kiss, pulling back to look him over. Andrew mirrored him, his eyes roaming over the impossible image before him in wonder. Impossible, but real. "I love you." His voice shook, but he never felt more certain in his life.

"I love you, too. Now and forever."

"Forever," Andrew echoed. Forever was everything he had wanted, and now here it was. 

Garrett smiled, eyes shimmering with love. "It's time to go," he murmured, stroking Andrew's curls back. "Are you ready?"

Andrew looked around, realizing that the world around them was growing dimmer. There was only one source of light remaining, in the direction Garrett had appeared from. That was where they needed to go. He nodded, knowing he would go anywhere with him.

He didn't move toward the light, though, but Garrett didn't seem to mind. Instead, he moved forward, back into Garrett, to wrap him in a tight embrace. He let his eyes flutter shut as he felt Garrett's arms snake around him - caring, protective, loving. And though he knew it was impossible, Andrew felt the faintest pulses of a heart underneath Garrett's chest, beating just for him.


End file.
